Lost
by DoonyD
Summary: After the loss of Splinter, their friends, families and Earth itself, the gang float through space, trying to find purpose.


**Had to write this as soon as I saw the season finale last night. Reviews greatly appreciated!**

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It had been three days since the Earth was destroyed. Three days of mourning on the small craft Professor Honeycutt had rescued them with.

Raph sat on the too clean, cold white floor of the deck where everyone was gathered, idly watching the stars go by as he thought about the last three days.

Mikey still smiled and cracked jokes, going out of his way to uplift the spirits of his brothers, April and Casey. If Raph didn't know him better, he would think his youngest brother was completely unaffected by their loss. He was desperately trying to make things normal, to erase the horror and tragedy they had gone through, but it wasn't working. When he lost the strength to ease the others' pain, he'd retire to the bathroom for long periods of time. No one bothered him there.

Leo didn't talk much, giving short answers if needed, but spent most of his time meditating quietly in the corner. He spent hours there, unmoving and silent. There was no planning, no orders, just silence from him. Cups of untouched hot chocolate and tea were littered around him from Mikey's attempts to pull him from his trance, but it was as if he wasn't even with them anymore.

Donnie took solace in talking with Professor Honeycutt about the ship, space, where they were traveling, anything to distract himself. He kept his hands busy, helping Honeycutt with the ship and reading books available to him, fascinated with the vast information on the universe and dimensions held within them. He didn't sleep, but Raph would notice he would pass out for a few minutes at a time before waking with a start and vigorously going back to work on what he was working on before the moment of weakness.

Casey had been in denial for two of the days, and like Mikey, he tried to continue things as if nothing had happened. Full of energy, he would turn to Raph and try to goad him into a playful fight, something to expend his pent up frustration on, but the turtle wouldn't move or react besides swatting him away or giving a dismissive grunt. When he finally gave up, he retreated to the other side of the ship, sitting against the wall and examining his mask with a scowl. It was on the third day the loss of his father, sister and the world had hit him. His temper was short and he paced the floor of the deck for hours, muttering aggressively to himself before attempting to rouse Raph into another fight with no luck, turning his anger on himself. A fit and a broken mask later, he returned to his spot, pieces of his disguise clenched in his hands as he fumed alone.

April cried. She was the only one who cried openly, though it was painfully obvious she was trying to hold back. The sniffles and muffled sobs from her cot made Raph's heart clench as he would stare at the floor, allowing Mikey or Donnie to come to the rescue and comfort her. He was never good at comforting anyone anyway, better for her that the youngest of them took care of her.

Honeycutt was kind and understanding to their suffering, offering whatever services he could to the mourning family, but their was only so much he could do to ease the pain.

Now the lights were dimmed, a sign from Honeycutt that it was time to at least try to sleep. Everyone reluctantly went to their cots in the back of the ship to rest. It wasn't long before a chorus of snores and even breathing filled the room, most of the group having exhausted themselves to the point of sleep, but Raph stared at the ceiling above him, unable to bring himself to slumber. He could only think of father, his friends, all the innocents of Earth who were now gone forever.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to will himself to sleep when he heard the creak of one of the cots as someone got up and went to the deck. He opened his eyes and stared straight ahead again, wondering who had woken up. From the snores, he knew it wasn't Mikey or Casey, the soft whistling that punctuated the snores let him know it wasn't Donnie. It had to be Leo or April. Brow furrowed, he considered trying to sleep again, but before he could make a decision he found himself getting out of bed as well, his body choosing for him.

He found April sitting next to the large window of the ship, staring blankly into the vast space that passed before her. Her throat worked, unaware she wasn't alone. Closing the space between them, Raph sat down next to her on the edge of the window, eyes searching for the same fixed point her's had found. His presence didn't startle her, she didn't even look to him when he had appeared, she kept her gaze fixed ahead.

"It doesn't feel real, does it?" she asked softly, hands bunched into fists in her lap, "It feels like I'm dreaming still, like if I just close my eyes, I'll wake up in my bed and it would have all just been a horrible nightmare. Splinter... my dad... Casey's family..." Her chin quivered as fresh tears threatened to fall. "And it's not just them either, the whole world is gone. Everything we've ever known, completely gone," she was whispering now.

Raph wanted to say something, but his mouth and throat were dry, his eyes fixed ahead as if everything would fall apart if he moved them. She was right. They were starting over in ways he would have never imagined. It was one thing to lose their father, he knew it would happen one day, though had hoped it wouldn't have been for decades. But now, they had nothing. No home, no Earth. Where would they go? What would they do? They were lost, floating aimlessly through space with nothing but each other and even then, they were disconnected.

"What are we going to do?" she asked as she finally turned to him, her voice breaking with emotion.

"We keep moving," Raph said quietly, his voice thicker with the lump in his throat, "That's all we can do." 'Moving', he had said, but he had never felt more stagnant in his life. He kept his eyes focused on the dark, empty space that seemed to suffocate them all in this cramped ship, when he felt April lay her head on his shoulder. His muscles tensed and his lips formed a tight line across his face, but he kept his eyes trained ahead. She sniffled again and he found his arm draped across her shoulders on it's own accord, offering what little comfort he could give to her and they sat in silence, staring at the countless stars together, neither knowing what to say.

"You're still up?" a gentle robotic voice broke the silence, causing the two to pull apart and turn to see Professor Honeycutt standing near the controls, lighted eyes mimicking blinking as he clasped his hands together, "Terribly sorry. I heard noises and came to check on who was up. It's very prudent you both get your rest. We'll be docking at a station tomorrow for supplies and to stretch our legs."

Raph muttered something under his breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he rest his elbows on his knees. "Thanks, Professor. We'll get to bed soon," he finally spoke up, rubbing his hand over his face before clearing his throat.

April remained silent, hands clasped in her lap as she kept her head low, hoping their new friend wouldn't notice her red, swollen eyes.

Honeycutt drummed his metallic fingers together and he nodded. "Well, I'll leave you two. We'll be there late 'morning'. If you need anything, I'll be in my office," he excused himself and quickly exited, leaving the two alone.

The quiet that followed his exit was physically painful for Raphael, but he didn't dare speak, grateful for when April broke it.

"I'm going to try to sleep again," she stood, her hand resting on Raph's shoulder a moment, "Thank you." She released him and retired to her cot, leaving him alone. He wasn't sure what she was thanking him for, he had been as helpful as talking to a brick wall in his opinion, but as long as she felt better, that was all that mattered.

He sat alone for a while longer, looking back out to the stars and distant planets as they slowly moved across his view, wondering how they'd go on like this. Maybe a change of scenery would do them well. Maybe it would help them move on.

Giving up on trying to find the answers he sought in the stars, he headed back to his cot, passing the sleeping forms of his brothers, Casey and April. He laid on his shell, staring back up at the ceiling as he did before, hands resting on his plastron as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The change of scenery would have to help them move on, but he still had never felt so stagnant.


End file.
